When I met my husband, I already had a child from a previous relationship. So when we were expecting our first child together, my husband was much more nervous about expected labor, childbirth, and having a newborn than I was. So to help ease his mind, I made a few “cheat sheets” for my husband as a guide for how and what to prepare and pack for the hospital, what to expect, my wants and needs for labor and birth, and anything else to best help me when that time came.
He found the “cheat sheets” to be extremely helpful, and said they helped ease his mind and made him feel like he would be able to actively help me, instead of just wondering what to do or how to help. And when the big time came, he did wonderful being prompt and seeing to my needs. The “cheat sheets” also helped my husband communicate with the hospital staff what I wanted and needed when I was too focused on my labor to do it myself.
The first sheet I made was a detailed packing list for the hospital. While I had all the basics packed at 36 weeks, there were still several items I couldn’t pack until the time came. I knew when labor really kicked in I wouldn’t want to try and focus on packing, and I was right! So while I was dealing with labor, my husband was able to finish packing everything that we needed for the hospital.
Make sure to include a coming home outfit for baby, postpartum supplies, breastfeeding clothes and supplies, comfy clothes and shoes, slippers, warm clothes in case the hospital is cold, toiletries, a mini fan with a spritzer (an absolute must!), insurance cards, IDs for you and spouse, cash for vending machine food, snacks and drinks you specifically will want on hand, and don’t forget the car seat and baby blankets!
The next sheet I made was essentially my birth plan. It listed what I wanted and didn’t want when it came to pain meds, an epidural, if I wanted to walk or not, or use a ball, and all the other details of my birth plan. This way he could anticipate and communicate my needs to the hospital staff, and he knew what to expect. At least as much as one can plan and expect for labor and childbirth!
The last sheet I made for my husband was sort of a guide and what to say and do during points of my labor. This included a sheet of phrases and words of affirmations he could say that I would find comforting. I also included things he could do that would help and not help, such as holding my hand, offering a drink, and other things that I would find helpful. This was probably the most helpful and detailed sheet, next to the packing list. Below is a link to my exact labor cheat sheet guide that I made for him. I also listed the Words of Affirmation sheet that I made for him.
My favorite thing about choosing to make these sheets is that they are very adaptable to different women, and you can easily modify these to fit your specific needs!
I made sure to give these to him early enough that he could read them over, and he also took the time to memorize some of the phrases and actions so that he could actively use them, instead of trying to read the sheets at the hospital instead of helping me!
Of course, the labor and birth plans must always be able to be flexible and adaptable, as every birth is different, babies will come when they want to come, and you never know how everything will go once it gets started. But planning never hurts in my opinion!
These sheets that I made for my husband were extremely helpful for both of us! My husband was a fantastic birth partner and he felt very prepared during the hours of labor and birth.
